Children experience anxiety and stress just like adults, but it often manifests in different ways. As a parent, it can be heartbreaking to see your child struggle with emotions that may be difficult for them to express. Helping your tween daughter navigate these feelings requires patience, understanding and the right tools to empower her to manage stress and anxiety in a healthy way.
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Here’s how you can provide support:
Recognise the signs of stress and anxiety
Children may not always have the words to explain their feelings, so it’s important to be on the lookout for changes in behavior that could indicate stress or anxiety, such as:
- Sudden mood swings, irritability or sadness
- Changes in sleep patterns (difficulty falling asleep or waking up frequently)
- Physical symptoms like stomachaches, headaches or fatigue
- Avoiding activities she used to enjoy
- Excessive worrying about school, friends or family matters
Encourage open communication
Create a safe, non-judgmental space where your daughter feels comfortable talking about her worries. Ask open-ended questions like:
- “How was your day? Was there anything that made you feel upset?”
- “Is there something you’re worried about at school or with your friends?”
Teach healthy coping mechanisms for anxiety
Children need to learn how to manage stress and anxiety in ways that are healthy and sustainable.
Here are some techniques you can teach her:
- Deep breathing: Show her how to take slow, deep breaths to calm her mind and body. Practice this together during moments of calm so she’s prepared to use it when she feels anxious.
- Physical activity: Encourage her to get active, whether through sports, dancing or simply running around outside. Physical movement is a natural stress reliever.
- Creative outlets: Activities like drawing, painting, writing or playing an instrument can help your daughter express her emotions and reduce anxiety.
- Mindfulness and meditation: Simple mindfulness exercises, like focusing on her breath or listening to calming sounds, can help ground her in the present moment and reduce anxious thoughts.
Maintain routines and set boundaries
Routine provides children with a sense of stability, which can reduce feelings of stress. Make sure your daughter has a consistent daily schedule that includes time for schoolwork, play, relaxation, and sleep. A structured environment makes it easier for her to manage her time and expectations.
Setting clear boundaries around screen time and social media use is also essential. Excessive use of technology, especially before bed, can increase anxiety and disrupt sleep.
Promote positive self-talk
Children, especially as they grow older, can be critical of themselves, which can exacerbate feelings of anxiety. Help your daughter practice positive self-talk by reminding her to replace negative thoughts with encouraging ones. For example, if she says, “I’m bad at math,” encourage her to reframe it as, “I can get better at math with practice.”
You can model this behavior by using positive language yourself. Show her that mistakes are opportunities for growth, and remind her of the things she excels at to build her confidence.
Monitor school and social pressures
At 10 years old, your daughter may face new pressures from school or social interactions with peers. Keep an open line of communication with her teachers and school counselors to stay informed about how she’s doing in school and if there are any social issues that might be causing stress.
Support her in navigating friendships by encouraging her to engage with peers who are positive influences. Helping her develop strong, healthy relationships can buffer against stress and improve her sense of belonging.
Model healthy stress management
Children learn a great deal from observing their parents. If you manage stress in a healthy and balanced way, she’s more likely to do the same. Show her how you cope with difficult situations, whether by taking a break, going for a walk, or talking about your feelings.
Also, share your own experiences with stress, making it clear that everyone feels overwhelmed at times, but that there are ways to handle it.
Seek professional support when necessary
If your daughter’s stress or anxiety becomes overwhelming or persistent, seeking professional help may be necessary. A child therapist or counselor can provide her with specialised tools and techniques to cope with her feelings. Early intervention can prevent anxiety from escalating and help her develop long-term coping strategies.
Helping your 10-year-old daughter manage stress and anxiety is an ongoing process that requires empathy, patience, and active involvement. By providing her with emotional support, teaching coping mechanisms, and encouraging positive habits, you can equip her with the tools she needs to handle challenges with resilience. Remember that every child is different, so what works for one might not work for another. Stay attentive to her needs and adjust your approach as necessary to help her thrive emotionally.